A-Z Dishonored
by Megan Hahn
Summary: An A-Z poem about the Dishonored games.


**Anton Sokolov-** that one old guy who is chill with me even though like a decade ago I kidnapped him from his home, locked him in a dog cage, and then released said dogs onto him, I'm just glad he's letting bygones be bygones...even though I would totally do it again...and totally killed him on my two high chaos runs as both Corvo and Emily

 **Billie Lurk-** that one lady who is kinda a bitch if you ask me, I mean, I don't mind she killed my love interest, but like, you betrayed Daud and I like Daud, so fuck you, unless it's low chaos, then all is forgiven, I mean, you get a chance to go get your own boat, so that's sick

 **Corvo-** that one dude who, let's face it, is fucking hot, but whose voice is very...off putting, I mean, though it wouldn't have been the voice actor I would've picked, since I would've picked like Kurt Russell, but anytime he talks, I just think about Nick Valentine and though I love Nick, Corvo is not Nick and I'm not okay with it

 **Daud-** that one dude who, let's face it, is pretty awesome and, since E3 just happened, we get to see again, yay, I'm totally not going to post this until like next year and it'll be after I've already played the DLC...I hate myself and lack of responsibility (update note: Death of the Outsider sucks, fuck that game)

 **Emily-** that one chick who really didn't have a great childhood, I mean, watching your mom die in front of you is bad enough, but when you also get kidnapped and put into a whore house, then rescued, then kidnapped again, it's not really a great start, especially since you totally have the ability to get throw off of their building and die...not sure how that one works if she's alive in the next game, but who am I to question, DC is the king of non cannon events and maybe Arkane is just trying to catch up

 **Flooded District-** that one place which is my least favorite part of the entire game, I'm sorry, but it's just...boring, there are assassin's everywhere, which I can live with, but gets annoying sometimes, but when you're doing a ghost run, it just gets so annoying when you have to quick load every time you someone sees you, not to mention when you're playing as Daud and you have the rescue that one guy who has like three guys around him

 **Granny Rags-** that one old lady who I don't like and let me tell you why, she's fucking mean and wants me to poison this awesome dude with an awesome mustache, two, she's creepy, three, her hand is fucking gross and the fact that it crawled up me is not okay, I still have nightmares over it and always will, it's just gross and I am forever scarred

 **High Overseer Campbell-** that one guy who...got banned, because...he was a part of the conspiracy for kill the Empress...I think...seriously, it's been like a year since I finished the game, I don't remember what happened, my head is too filled with Witcher shit to remember that...I'm sorry

 **Irreconcilable Hostilities-** that one thing that I get in trouble for a lot because I kinda have a habit of killing people when I'm not supposed to, let's be honest, I've probably stabbed everyone in the game at least once, if not more…I have an issue

 **Jessamine-** that one lady who really shouldn't have gotten herself killed, I mean, it would've saved all of us a lot of trouble, side note, one of the things I thought was really sad but cool is the part, spoiler, where Jessamine's soul leaves the heart and if you've done high chaos as Corvo, she tells you that you're not the person she loves basically and that's depressing

 **Kirin Jindosh-** that one guy who despite making a sick house with tons of robots, can't stop from being killed, I mean even on my no powers run I literally just shot him in the face with a bolt, like, couldn't you have protected yourself a little bit better than that

 **Lady Boyle-** that one lady who...can die, I'm sorry, I'm doing this as one of my last ones and I want to finish the damn thing, god, I am sorry to everyone who reads these, I try to put effort in and just fail, please forgive me

 **Megan Foster-** that one bitch who I gave back an arm and an eye to and yet still had the nerve to be a bitch to me, I mean, what more do I have to do for you not to call me a spoiled empress

 **New game plus-** that one thing which is the best damn thing ever, okay, maybe it's not _that_ great, but it's fucking awesome, thank you Arkane, I mean, who doesn't want to be able to play at either character and have both of their abilities and all their runes and be awesome

 **Outsider-** that one guy who is my best friend, I mean, he gives me superpowers, and sure, he likes to play with mortals, but let's be honest, if you were drained of your blood and became a god, you'd want to too, right, too bad I'm going to have to kill him

 **River Krust-** those things that apparently don't count towards your ghost or no kill playthrough, you have no idea how much harder I made the game for myself, I played Dishonored where no one even _detected_ me, if they got one lightning bolt, I quickloaded...I made it so much harder, why did I do this to myself

 **Slackjaw-** that guy with an awesome mustache

 **Tallboy-** those things that, let's be honest, we're kind of useless, I mean if I ever had someone detecting me, it was never them, and that's obviously why they didn't make it to the second game

 **Void-** that one place which you should...avoid, hardy har har...I'm a sad person...

* * *

 **It's time for all of your guys' favorite part: story time! Okay, well maybe it's just my favorite part. In any case, I want to tell you all a little story if you're willing to listen. So, the first time I played Dishonored on the PS3, I loved it. I've never really been one of stealth games, but Dishonored was something special for me. I've put the better part of sixty hours into the game and I've finished it a handful of times. I liked it so much I even named my dog Corvo. So as you can imagine, when they announced Dishonored 2 at E3, I was overjoyed, hell, I was more excited for it than for Fallout 4 which was also announced that year. The next year, when they announced the collector's edition, I bought it the first day it was available. I was more excited than anyone for it, but when the day came for me to finally play it, once I had already unboxed my mask, I booted the game up. Ten hours later, I hated the game. The main reason: it ran like shit. I'll admit, my laptop is getting old, but it had no issues playing games like Fallout 4 or even the Witcher 3. It wasn't my laptop, it was the game. On April 18, 2017, I bought the game again for the PS4. I just felt like I needed to give it another chance and that was the best damn decision I've made this year, shortly behind preordering Horizon Zero Dawn. Since then, I don't think I've left the game alone for more than a week. It's just one of those games you want to go back to, to see where the other path takes you. And I know I will play it so many more times again. In any case, if you haven't played Dishonored 2, do it. You will thank yourself later.**

 **I'm proud of myself, I'm going to post this only like a month after E3 and not a year later.**

 **In any case, thanks for reading, I appreciate more than I can say. If you have any comments, questions, concerns, ideas, criticisms, or suggestions please feel free to comment or PM me. Have a wonderful day! (You can tell how lazy I am because I just reuse this…I also never reread what I've written until like three or four years later.)**


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